Let’s see now…

I wanted to do a vlog – I used to do those on occasion and while I was doing it there was some sort of glitch and I figured I would just edit it out but – the new and improved iMovie is impossible to use – I was a whiz with the old one, haven’t been able to figure out the new one, Apple apps kinda suck – big time.

Then I tried downloading a few (a few!!) free movie editing apps and they were no better – either I have gotten more stupid with age or this shit has gotten more complicated. The funny thing was I was looking at a few videos I had uploaded to Youtube and found one from Dec of 2018 wherein I nattered on about – food. How I hated eating and cooking and how boring food was – Well son-of-a-gun people, you think my current attitude is new? Nope – this has been going on awhile. I should post the video for goofs and giggles.

Tomorrow (Thursday) is grocery shopping day – can’t wait to see what I won’t be able to buy this week. And it’s not just our food that is out of stock/non-existent but my cat’s food is not available anywhere – after much checking of every shopping site I have (and there are many) I found their food at Jet.com. I ordered a lot – a lot!

Jet is now owned by Walmart and I can get a lot of the groceries I need, not want particularly but need, except Walmart doesn’t deliver groceries – I don’t know if they ever did but they aren’t now – at least not what I need (like cat food). Of course you can order and pick-up except – we don’t have a car! And, the nearest Walmart is 15 miles away – like in another county. Actually the one in D.C. is closest in miles but even harder to get to from Virginia.

And for all my whining we are still way better off than a lot of people. I mean for one thing my husband and I are totally accustomed to social isolation – leaving the apartment only once a week and speaking to and seeing no other human beings but each other for years!

You wanna see that vlog I did over a year ago? Let me know and I will bore you with it, or have you laughing in your seat – whatever.

Welcome to my world

I do love how folks are going on and on about the social distancing and self-isolation. I have been living this way for 12 years now, and not by choice.  So aside from no bread or milk the bitching and moaning about the cautions being put in place only make me laugh sardonically.

My husband has been telecommuting or tele-working, howsomever you call it, for 12 years, so again, no change in our lives, welcome to my world.

The economic impact is very real and that disturbs me greatly. Not for my sake but for others who were living on the edge before all this.  And 12-Step participants – are they doing video meetings? And what of the people who don’t have the capacity to do that?

I am so socially isolated that since I deleted my Facebook account a week ago no one noticed. Well, one person mentioned via their blog that they couldn’t find me there to thank me for a birthday card I sent.

I grant you that I don’t really participate much on FB – I just go along my feed and click ‘Like” and move 0n – so it can be difficult to notice something is gone if you never really noticed it was there to start with.

Most of my quote/unquote FB friends are people I have never met and don’t really know.  I ‘met’ most of them, years ago, through blogging, but with one exception (2 if you count me) none of them blog anymore. They have lives to live – unlike me.

I’m sound like I am complaining but I don’t think that is quite the right word because my situation can be laid directly at my door. I allowed this to happen, ain’t nobody’s fault but my own.  It is NOT the way I would choose to live. I am not really an anti-social introvert.

I have always been happy in my own company, yes. I do dislike crowds, and yet I really prefer to live in large cities because – People! Large cities equal lots of things to do – out there in the world. Yet, I do need time spent in my own interior, solitary world. For the majority of my life I easily and happily had both. You can have both; you can be both – extrovert and introvert. It’s called ambivert, BTW and quite frankly I think most people are really ambivert – the middle ground where most of us reside.

The current health climate has only exacerbated my depression which is rooted in my isolation but also cheered me because now I’m thinking – “Ha – welcome to my world, now you know how I feel.” And that is just unkind because I wouldn’t wish this lifestyle on my worst enemy.