I have no good reason but

I’m feeling all upbeat and chipper. I got a really good nights sleep and while I didn’t get up in such a good mood but my mood has progressed nicely as the morning has moved on. I did cut my hair this morning and that always makes me feel better – I left the top a bit long and the back and sides real short. My head feels so much lighter – I HATE hair, I’ve tried the bald look and it is so NOT a good look for me.

I’ve always thought my face was very androgynous looking and as I have aged and sagged I appear even more so. I have never, ever liked to have my photo taken and there are damn few photos of me extant but the one thing I like about my iPhone (and instagram) is taking photos with silly filters. My granddaughter loves this photo and (according to her mother) often demands to see “Silly Nonna picture” –

Nonna Kitty

This morning, after I cut my hair, I thought I might post a photo because I have a friend who a) likes my hair and b) is always amazed that I cut it myself.  So fooling around with Instagram filters and then iPhone edits I came up with this rather dramatic looking, smirking me…I’m not sure you can tell whether I am male or female, and I’m not sure in this day and age whether it matters. Of course if there was a full body shot of me there would hardly be a question of my gender but then again – no, even surgery can’t get you legs like mine – I’ve got great legs and they are definitely lady legs.

I kinda like the smirk tho it looks a bit like I might have some sort of “condition”. My only condition is age and cynicism…

me57

I can’t even…

is my usual response when I hear or read something so awful/stupid/incomprehensible because it is so stupid/horrible – well, you get the idea. Sometimes all you can say is but-but-but or just, ya know, foam at the mouth.

So – Politics: I haven’t read the front of the newspaper in close to 4 years now because my blood pressure can’t take it. My husband watches the local and world news in the evening so I have to listen to it – One would think in this country there would be some individual(s) with some smarts and intelligence who would run for political office. Well, history has proven you would be wrong.  Or, that they ran and lost. The current leadership, and I say that with tongue in cheek and the utmost disdain, is unspeakable. The boobies from the other party who are duking it out to run against the unspeakable are not, to my mind, up to the task – of winning or leading. Is this really the best we can do? Must I again vote against someone instead of for someone?

Now we have the corona virus to fuel the fools. Nevermind what our fearless leaders are not doing and don’t know, but I’m reading that people are reacting in totally moronic ways – there’s a run on toilet paper? Seriously?

So much stupid shit going on that my head is about to explode.  Join me in mourning the death of common sense.

So – kitty pics…

I don’t sleep well on Sunday nights, never mind the whys and wherefores, having had a total of maybe 4 hours sleep over an 8 hour period, I decided to try to catch a nap at 8:30 this morning. Miss Frankie Lulu Belle had other ideas.

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That’s my little princess perched precariously on my rib cage (I’m a side sleeper). She doesn’t weight much more than 8 pounds or so but dang that hurt! The death stare was because I dared to ignore her –

I’m very tired today

not just physically, which was to be expected, but mentally and emotionally. So tired. I feel flattened, deflated, uneasy. Every little thing seems to upset me.

I don’t spend a lot of time on social networks – I have them all – Instagram, Twitter, Facebook – whatever all else there is – I always sign up for anything new and shiny and then discover I have no use for, or interest in them.

I deactivated Facebook today – not because of all the political posts – I don’t see any of those because I don’t subscribe to any of them. I have 33 ‘friends’ and that is a few too many – I approved friend requests from people who I did indeed know but who I have no interest in, so I put them in a particular category and I never see their posts not do they see mine.  I think, out of those 33 people, less than 10 see my posts and I theirs.

Yet – FB just annoyed me today – other than the occasional post by our daughter, there’s nothing and no one I can’t find/contact by other means.

I’m just very tired today.

I would be bopping in my seat

if I had the energy. But this afternoon I spent several hours rearranging furniture including moving a bed, 3 bookcases (filled with books and tchotkes), a file cabinet and a rug.

If you remember  THIS POST then you’ll know what I am talking about. That bookcase I said I had to move to the living room? Ha – it has now been moved back to my office and that makes me happy because 1. I HATED it in the living room – too big and bulky and 2. Now I have room for my toys.

And – those two crystal balls I was waffling about keeping? Yup, in the trash – Yay! My husband was shocked and surprised that I got rid of them. I’ve had the little one about 40 years and the huge one about 30 years and now they are gone-gone-gone.  And – I feel so much lighter in my mind.

I did all the moving and rearranging by myself but my husband did help me roll up the area rug and stash it in the storage room. I’ve got a bad back (like no disks between the lumbar vertebrae) and while I am just a little stiff and achy now I expect tomorrow I shall be pretty much immobile

But – today, right now, I am a very happy camper!

Everything reminds me of something else

I call it squirrel brain, or ping-pong brain, which should really be called pinball brain because my thoughts ricochet from one thought to another – 

Anyway, I read THIS which had been inspired by THIS but I never got past #5 on either list because squirrel/ping-pong/pinball brain kicked in and sent me in search of these – 

Now then, you can click either of those links (or both – they are WP blogs BTW) and see what prompted this post or just settle for what I dredged up from my long-term memory. 

Miscellaneous Mishegoss

~ Doing the NYT crossword this afternoon and there was a clue that required knowledge of Super Mario Brothers – whatever the hell that is. Ok. ok – I know it is some sort of computer/video game but that’s the extent of my knowledge. I only completed the puzzle because I got all the down clues and that filled in the across.  There was also a sports related clue, again, zero knowledge, got it by filling in the other clues.

Any references to anything Disney always has me stymied, or children’s entertainment of any kind – books, movies, television – zero knowledge there too.

Basically ANY pop culture references don’t just go over my head, they were never in there to begin with – don’t even ask about music.

~ We are watching a show on Netflix called “The Messiah” (a charismatic man who sparks a spiritual movement and stirs political unrest.). And yes the plot will seem familiar to any of you who have ever gone to Sunday school, and yet…we sit mesmerized by this show. Last night we watched 2 episodes in a row because we wanted to know what happened next. (And shock, shock and surprised I haven’t even looked at the synopsis of future episodes. I mean, we all know where this is going to go, don’t we?)

I’m surprised by my husband’s interest in this show since it is about people and ideas – he’s your basic car chase/explosions/blood and guts sort of guy.  His taste in books runs the same way – oh yes all the conspiracy/spy sort of stuff. He likes his plots without any people involvement, not interested in big ideas or emotions.

~ I’m am going to go to my grave wondering why people can’t accept that we are all different in our likes and dislikes. Why some people have a problem with understanding I am not them; that when I am talking about MY likes and dislikes, I am NOT criticizing theirs. Or why they insist that their way, or likes, or preferences are applicable across the population and therefore I MUST do/like/be the same as them.

Yes, I have a particular person in mind along with their particular behaviors over the years, and no, it is not terribly important because this person does not occupy a lot of space in my life, and yes, maybe I am paranoid and this person hasn’t just publicly taken another swipe at me in their usual backhanded passive/aggressive way, but rather that something I wrote simply reminded them of something that they are positive about and that I am not a fan of.  Is that all vague enough for you LOL

~ I absolutely need to get a damn life.

There are no universals, so please ask.

The other day I read a post that offered up information about hugs and hugging. It seems the optimal time for a hug is 20 seconds and  we should be giving or getting 8-12 hugs a day – all in the service of better health.

Just reading that started to trigger a panic attack for me.  I do NOT like to hug or be hugged, particularly by strangers or near-strangers or friends or family or people I don’t know or people I do know …Please, just don’t.

I particularly hate hugs that are launched at me without warning – my brain and body interpret that as a physical attack and I sometimes react accordingly – try to explain jerking away from someone and pushing them away, and then there is that right hook to the jaw.  Basically – don’t touch me without permission.

Quite obviously I don’t do massages.

And yes, I am claustrophobic.

And then there are those horrors called weighted blankets – I can’t even. Being held down, unable to move – OMG – screaming-jesus panic attack.  It makes me anxious just reading about them.

Yet – I am a big hand-holder, at least with my husband. I am also a leaner, I lean into/on my husband whenever we are standing next to each other – don’t know why I do that, but I do. Then again, I don’t recall doing that with anyone else.

Please people, be aware that not everyone likes hugs, or likes to be touched. Some people experience that as a physical attack – can you get that? Please, get that.